Saturday, January 20, 2007

Nothing to Hide

Now that I've spilled my guts all over the blogging community, I'm feeling much better, though I'm afraid it may have left some of you feeling a bit queasy or uneasy. Sorry about that. I hope it doesn't ruin your shoes.

I realize that I'm all out there with my stuff, maybe a little more than your average basket case, and I'll bet you've wondered "What is she thinking?"

Well, I'm about to tell you.

I'm thinking that pounding out my frustrations on my keyboard helps to keep my speech gracious and opens the door for healing and forgiveness. It's cathartic.

Yes, but why post it?

I'm thinking someone might find himself/herself in a similar situation and realize that there is hope. We care. God cares. Let us pray for you.

I'm thinking someone might recognize a destructive pattern in his/her own behavior and realize that he/she needs help. Love is kind, not cruel. Love does not endanger; it protects. Please don't abuse the ones you love, and please don't let them abuse you.

Domestic violence is not limited to physical assault. It includes any tactic used to instill fear and exert power and control over the other person in a relationship. Click here to learn more or to get help.

21 comments:

Clemntine said...

Brenda,

I agree with you wholeheartedly. You've read my "stuff", I've read yours, and we are both aware that everyone has "stuff."

I find, as I think you do, that dragging the yuck out into the light and calling it what it is drains its power. It can't shame us, or castigate us any more. It also gives others the courage to do the same, and one by one we step onto the path that leads to healing and wholeness.

I'm so glad we're both on this path. Thank you for trusting us enough to be real. Bless you, Sister

Diane said...

Yeah...What Clemntine said! :-)

I agree, Brenda. As someone who came out of a similar situation as yours, I know it's very easy to fall back into the same behavior patterns you struggled to escape. Don't think Satan doesn't know it, too.

Of course I saw it from the kid's point of view and my Daddy was the abusive alcoholic. Praise the Lord he quit drinking when I was 8. He got saved when he was 60 years old, and we both know the odds are against that.

If my Daddy could change after all those years, your ex can, too. There's always hope as long as there's breath.

We'll keep praying for God to do a miraculous work in your ex's and your kid's lives.

I just posted about throwing away those dining chairs on my blog just as your comment came to my email. :-)

Have a great Sunday, Brenda! ;D

Barb said...

Brenda, never ever apologize for putting your stuff out here. There's not one of us who hasn't got stuff.

I can't tell you how much I've always loved your honesty. And it IS helpful to those who read this to know that they're not the only one dealing with something that seems impossible to overcome.

I can't say it any better than Clemntine and Diane have already said it. As long as we breathe, there's hope.

You didn't scare me at all, not one little bit. I've been there. I survived and I'm better for it.

I've known since the very first time we "talked" that you're a survivor. You and your girls are going to be just fine.

xoxoxo

Paulette said...

Brenda, I am thankful you put this out there, It is good for others to see we are real. I have gone way to long hiding and I am not doing it anymore. It is ok to be real. There are a ton of people who go through this everyday and I hope your words help someone else.
I have been praying for you and your girls. I am very proud of the stand you take, and I know God is proud of you too Brenda.
Blessings..

Judith said...

Brenda, Thanks for taking time to email. You will enjoy, and get a lot out of the Boundaries workshop.

I do understand about needing to tell someone how you feel about whatever's going on in your life, and your children's. This is where the Boundaries program can really help to untangle and understand your family dynamics.

As you may know, there's been plenty of it in mine.

Great hearing from you. Now that I'm a little settled, hope to keep in better touch. love and Peace.

Grafted Branch said...

You are a generous woman, Brenda. You are honest, transparent, humble and I know God will/is use/using you and your path to help others.

The Lord bless you...

Kelli said...

We love YOU, your stuff, and everything. I mean, we all have stuff. Some of us use it for good.

You are Wonder Woman.

Laurel Wreath said...

I love your transparency and I am honored that I can pray you through some of this stuff. We all have stuff, Lord knows I have stuff...

Andrea said...

I have not been commenting lately, but I've been reading. I can relate to what you are saying and I don't think less of you because you put it out there. I just pray harder for you and your girls. I appreciate that there is someone out there willing to be open and honest about the trials of life. Thank you for helping me know I'm not the only one dealing with this stuff. :)

Melanie said...

Brenda-
I think that there is someone reading this, someone who may not comment at all, who may be going through something awful right now. They need to read that they are not alone, that others have gone through something and overcome it with God's Help.

So keep writing. And praying for them.

Tammy and Parker said...

I'll hang in there with you on your stuff and you hang in there with me on mine. Together we can help each other on our way.

Praying for your Prodigal said...

Brenda,

Your honesty and vulnerability is refreshing! Your stuff--whatever form it takes--is like ours. There is power in numbers....there is strength to be found anytime someone takes their mask off and begins to get real with their stuff. Your example inspires strength and directs us to the One who holds our stuff in His hands! Not only to you share your pain--your shine His Glory right on it! There's no need to apologize for that! It is exactly what the Apostle Paul did! Way to go Brenda! You are in very good company!

Diane

Sister said...

Brenda,
I admire your courage, strength and stamina in dealing with all of "your stuff." And the Bible verse in your sidebar? Coincidence? I think not. :)
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7-8)

Tammy said...

I can only echo what everyone else said, Brenda.

And let me add that I think you are a blessing to the blogging community for your giving and praying heart.

I'll keep praying for you girls!

Robin said...

Brenda,
You are very right to share your stuff. I agree with every one eles. If you are sharing in a way to shed light on it and there fore lose its hold, sharing so others can learn and see hope then share on!! My only unasked for advise is protect your girls. I was raised in an alcohlic home where things were kept hush hush. When I left home NOTHING about me was a secret, I was tired of living like that. Then I had children and learned that it isn't always mine to tell even though it does affect and invlove me.
I think I felt the need to say all that because of where I am right now. So share on. It helps me remember how important intercessory prayer is.

Dawn said...

That is exactly why Kristen and I did our series on her journey through anorexia. And Kev and I are going to do a mother/son series on his journey to wholeness through addiction. I can never thank you enough for praying for him and Angie over the months. They are doing so great!

We're coming to your neck of the woods in April. Would love to meet!

Dawn said...

Thanks for stopping by today - it was great to hear from you again!

Mommy Dearest said...

We don't know what to pray for if we don't know what you're going through.

Yellow Mama said...

I read an article last week on MSN or yahoo about using blogging to express "stuff". No new idea for those of us who have been laying it out for some time.

Blessings friend.

Dawn said...

Kevin and I are putting our "stuff" out there for the world to read of his struggle and journey to deliverance. I am really excited about it.

Hope things are going better for you!

Diane J. said...

Howdy, Miz B. Thanks for dropping by to help me celebrate my Blogiversary. It's special friends like you that make it so worthwhile and enjoyable. :-)