Because some of you have asked, here's an update on my girls.
Sarah is doing well in school, spending a lot of time with her friends, and going to church sporadically. That's all I know. I don't hear from her very often. I don't know how often she checks her voicemail, but I call her daily and leave a message.
Lindsey is currently visiting her boyfriend and his parents. One of the things I required of her was to tell BF's mom about her dad's behavior (and the gun) last time we were there. I do think that whole thing was for my benefit, because he didn't react that way when BF took Lindsey over there the night before. Then again, maybe he'd had time to think about it. Who knows? I want the boy's mom to be aware of any potential danger, in the event that Lindsey decides she wants to see her dad.
As we were waiting for her flight to board, I told her that I expect her to be on her best behavior. I reminded her not to do anything that she wouldn't do in front of me. Then she giggled when I said, "On second thought, don't do anything that you would do in front of me, if you know I would say something about it."
I have second-guessed myself many times on the decision to let her make the trip, but after reading Bev's post and all the comments here and then the follow-up here, I feel more confident. These two kids think they're in love. They are going to find a way to see each other, no matter what their parents think. I would rather not put my child in the position of having to lie, sneak around, or run away to be with her dreamboat. And if he turns out to be a shipwreck, I'd rather her find out sooner than later. How will she know unless she spends time with him?
Lindsey knows what is at stake here - proving to me and herself that she can be trusted. It is no small thing to her, and she has called me several times to thank me and to keep me informed.
Now, if I could just get in touch with Sarah...
Thursday, February 22, 2007
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11 comments:
Man, we had to grow up ourselves, then we have to experience it again and try to guide our kids as they mature. Not fun at all! Hopefully the finished products will be more than worth it, though...
Pray and take it day by day, Brenda. That's all we can do in almost any situation.
Trusting all will go well with Lindsay and the BF. And that Sarah will be okay as well!
Thanks so much for stopping by Kev's Chapter 3 and the comment. Really special.
I appreciate your grace and candor. Praying God's perfect will for you and your girls.
I like your approach to let her see him with boundaries. You are right. If they are determined, they will see each other no matter what.
I had to smile at the dreamboat/shipwreck thing. I can't even remember all the shipwrecks I survived.
What's up with Sarah? I thought you were talking to her daily.
The post and the response over at Bev's was a lot of good food for thought. It's important for parents to admit to themselves that kids who think they're in love will find a way to be together, even if it means lying.
I suspect Lindsey will respond in a positive way to the trust you're putting in her. You know, I just now remembered what I always told my girls - I trust you completely, right up until the moment you show me that I can't trust you. It was almost like they TRIED to earn my trust.
Thanks for the update on the girls, Brenda. I've been thinking about you and them a lot lately.
xoxoxo
I admire so much the way you seek to prove the Lord time and time again in these less-than-perfect circumstances, Brenda. Still praying...
I think you're taking a good approach here. Our oldest went behind our back with a girl, and it created an awkward situation that took a long time to correct.
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