First, the Bad News

Wow. Has it really been 3 months since my last update on the wayward offspring? Well, allow me to remedy that. See, I am nothing if not prompt. Now let's see... where did I leave you hanging?

Ah yes, in our last episode, the red-headed problem child was off visiting her boyfriend and his parents.

The story resumes as Smarty McMoutherson returns home with no major incidents to report. She had paid a visit to her dad and sister while she was there, and though they weren't exactly pleased that she hadn't made the trip for the purpose of spending time with them, they were glad to see her and treated her accordingly. It's probably not even worth mentioning that the dad didn't call her on her birthday, which is really neither here nor there, I suppose. Except that he didn't call her on her birthday!

Oh well. No animals were harmed in the making of this segment. Film at 11.

So we're back to the normal routine, which isn't really all that normal, but you take what you can get. Then suddenly, it's Spring Break, and we're making yet another trip to Arkansas. I'm thinking The Aloof One will be coming home with me for a week so we can go do stuff, and I'm all excited about having some one-on-one time with her. She, on the other hand, had other plans. Well, not really plans, as in "I've got other stuff I want to do." No, it was more like "I don't want to go to Georgia with you," bless her hateful little heart. So I drove back home all by my lonesome, only to return the following weekend to retrieve The Spiteful One.

This time, there were major incidents to report, and at least one animal was injured, but there's no film to prove it. There were teeth marks and bruising inflicted upon the father mammal by the insubordinate daughter mammal, and a few rather bold, yet unsuccessful, classic made-for-Springer attempts to get him to strike her.

I swear, y'all, the family tree does fork! Plastic utensils, of course. Somebody'd put an eye out otherwise.

Anyway.

The following day, on our way back home, we stopped by the dad's to discuss our concerns about her relationship with Sonic boy, and she took my car sans permission and drove to his parents' house. I called looking for her, and his step-dad said he had sent her home. When she still hadn't come back fifteen minutes later, I called again and was told that she was on her way. I said "she's not here yet", and he snapped, "I can't help that." When I asked how long ago she had left, he said "she's leaving right now."

That was the last straw. Since March, all phone privileges and contact of any kind with the dreamboat/shipwreck and his parents have been rescinded until further notice.

Alrighty, then. I think that brings us up to date. Mostly.

Coming up next: some good news.