On the way home from church, we got into a discussion about how the Pope gets his name. Out of the blue, no idea where it came from. My husband, Carl, explained that he gets to choose his name. One of the kids then suggested that he should choose a cool name. Carl asked, "What name would you choose if you were elected Pope?"
Andrew said "Pope Daddy"
Emily said "Pope O'Gigio"
Carl said "Pope Alicious"
I said "POprah"
Several other suggestions were tossed around, like "Pope Arama", "Pope Eroni", and my personal favorite (courtesy of Andrew) "Pope Ourri".
Proof that insanity is hereditary - we get it from our kids.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Beyond the Shadow of Doubt
This is a bit of background to my "Why am I Here?" story. More aptly titled "Am I Where I Should Be? Part II" perhaps? Whatever.
I've been here going on 2 years. Although it was a painful decision to pick up and leave my home, I knew that God had better plans than I could imagine, so I was excited to begin this new chapter in my life. My children didn't share my enthusiasm. They did not want to leave their friends, and they didn't want to change schools. I didn't want to leave them behind, but their dad didn't want to let them go. We agreed that it was better to work out an arrangement ourselves than to fight in court.
I offered to allow the kids to stay with him for the summer and to come live with me for the school year. They would have every holiday and every school break with him, and I would bring them to visit him at least one weekend a month. He was welcome to come any time to visit them as well, or I would meet him halfway. They would have daily contact by phone, email, and instant messaging. His counteroffer was not as generous - to let them come for part of the summer, half the holidays and school breaks, only one weekend a month, and since I created the distance it would be up to me to provide all the transportation.
I don't know what the outcome might have been had we gone to court, but I knew that he was prepared to lie and deny the truth. He was more interested in exacting revenge than in determining the best interest of the children. I know the kids would have been allowed to state their preference, but how much weight it would carry in influencing the judge's decision was anybody's guess. The judge is a pastor. He's also a distant relative (married to my 2nd cousin). There may have been a pretty good chance of a ruling in my favor, but I still would have had to fight dirty - I certainly had enough ammunition. It would have been ugly, and the potential damage to the kids was not worth having my day in court.
We finally came to the decision that they would come with me for the whole summer and go back for the school year, and he reluctantly agreed to allow me the same visitation that I had offered him. I would provide all the transportation because he adamantly refused to cooperate and make "my sordid life any easier after what I had put him through." However, I did get him to agree to meet halfway if necessary.
What he didn't know was that I was not cowering down to him. His threats to destroy me in court didn't scare me off. I had told him about my dream, but the significance of it eluded him. As far as he was concerned, he had won. He had power, and he would wield it recklessly.
That first summer went by quickly. My husband insisted that I stay home with the girls so that I could have as much time with them as possible. We visited churches in the area to find one with a youth group they could get involved in. It was a chore to get them to go at all. They weren't interested in making friends here because they were only here for the summer and they missed their friends back home. We didn't force the issue. It seemed hopeless. They didn't like it here, didn't want to be here, and they didn't want to try. Just before it was time for them to go back to school, we found a church they were comfortable with. They enjoyed the youth group and made a few new friends. Then it was time to let them go.
The next several months would be trying. God knew this and saw that I needed Him to bolster my faith. I was without a job, and I needed one fast. Two opportunities opened up. One paid more than the other and offered more benefits. That's the one I wanted. The other was next door to where my husband worked. I interviewed for both positions and waited. My husband and I calculated our expenses and determined the minimum salary I would need to keep us going. The second position was offered to me at exactly the salary we had decided we needed, then I had a 2nd interview for the better position. I wasn't sure whether to wait and see about it or take the one that was offered. Shoulda known - I mean, the salary was EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED! - but I hesitated. I prayed that I would make the right choice. Finally, I decided to accept the job.
I discovered that the owner of the company is a Christian, as is the mananger, and the office manager, and the clerk. I was thrilled! When I got home after my first day on the job, there was a message on the answering machine from the other employer saying they had closed the position. Not filled it, but removed it from their roster. Another confirmation, just to remind me that I never had any reason to doubt.
I've been here going on 2 years. Although it was a painful decision to pick up and leave my home, I knew that God had better plans than I could imagine, so I was excited to begin this new chapter in my life. My children didn't share my enthusiasm. They did not want to leave their friends, and they didn't want to change schools. I didn't want to leave them behind, but their dad didn't want to let them go. We agreed that it was better to work out an arrangement ourselves than to fight in court.
I offered to allow the kids to stay with him for the summer and to come live with me for the school year. They would have every holiday and every school break with him, and I would bring them to visit him at least one weekend a month. He was welcome to come any time to visit them as well, or I would meet him halfway. They would have daily contact by phone, email, and instant messaging. His counteroffer was not as generous - to let them come for part of the summer, half the holidays and school breaks, only one weekend a month, and since I created the distance it would be up to me to provide all the transportation.
I don't know what the outcome might have been had we gone to court, but I knew that he was prepared to lie and deny the truth. He was more interested in exacting revenge than in determining the best interest of the children. I know the kids would have been allowed to state their preference, but how much weight it would carry in influencing the judge's decision was anybody's guess. The judge is a pastor. He's also a distant relative (married to my 2nd cousin). There may have been a pretty good chance of a ruling in my favor, but I still would have had to fight dirty - I certainly had enough ammunition. It would have been ugly, and the potential damage to the kids was not worth having my day in court.
We finally came to the decision that they would come with me for the whole summer and go back for the school year, and he reluctantly agreed to allow me the same visitation that I had offered him. I would provide all the transportation because he adamantly refused to cooperate and make "my sordid life any easier after what I had put him through." However, I did get him to agree to meet halfway if necessary.
What he didn't know was that I was not cowering down to him. His threats to destroy me in court didn't scare me off. I had told him about my dream, but the significance of it eluded him. As far as he was concerned, he had won. He had power, and he would wield it recklessly.
That first summer went by quickly. My husband insisted that I stay home with the girls so that I could have as much time with them as possible. We visited churches in the area to find one with a youth group they could get involved in. It was a chore to get them to go at all. They weren't interested in making friends here because they were only here for the summer and they missed their friends back home. We didn't force the issue. It seemed hopeless. They didn't like it here, didn't want to be here, and they didn't want to try. Just before it was time for them to go back to school, we found a church they were comfortable with. They enjoyed the youth group and made a few new friends. Then it was time to let them go.
The next several months would be trying. God knew this and saw that I needed Him to bolster my faith. I was without a job, and I needed one fast. Two opportunities opened up. One paid more than the other and offered more benefits. That's the one I wanted. The other was next door to where my husband worked. I interviewed for both positions and waited. My husband and I calculated our expenses and determined the minimum salary I would need to keep us going. The second position was offered to me at exactly the salary we had decided we needed, then I had a 2nd interview for the better position. I wasn't sure whether to wait and see about it or take the one that was offered. Shoulda known - I mean, the salary was EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED! - but I hesitated. I prayed that I would make the right choice. Finally, I decided to accept the job.
I discovered that the owner of the company is a Christian, as is the mananger, and the office manager, and the clerk. I was thrilled! When I got home after my first day on the job, there was a message on the answering machine from the other employer saying they had closed the position. Not filled it, but removed it from their roster. Another confirmation, just to remind me that I never had any reason to doubt.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Freakish Friday
In case you were wondering if I could possibly be any weirder...yeah, I have this telepathy thing going on, and I knew that you were... I realized there are a few things I left off my list.
I won't bother to number them, so nobody gets hurt.
*I've never been a first wife.
*My ex-wife-in-law (hubby's ex) and I are friends.
*I have an uncanny ability to remember social security numbers - not just mine, but hubby's, daughters', sister's, ex-boyfriends', ex-hubby's, and some people I don't even know (work related) - but I can't freakin' remember to call the orthodontist's office to have them draft the payment before the 15th of the month!
*I'm right-handed in everything but archery and soccer <--- HA! (that was just for kicks, but the archery thing is true.) I kill me.
*I'm funnier than most people think I am.
*I just laughed out loud at myself.
*There are 6 letters in my first name, 6 in my middle name, and 6 in my last name.
Is that scary or what?
I won't bother to number them, so nobody gets hurt.
*I've never been a first wife.
*My ex-wife-in-law (hubby's ex) and I are friends.
*I have an uncanny ability to remember social security numbers - not just mine, but hubby's, daughters', sister's, ex-boyfriends', ex-hubby's, and some people I don't even know (work related) - but I can't freakin' remember to call the orthodontist's office to have them draft the payment before the 15th of the month!
*I'm right-handed in everything but archery and soccer <--- HA! (that was just for kicks, but the archery thing is true.) I kill me.
*I'm funnier than most people think I am.
*I just laughed out loud at myself.
*There are 6 letters in my first name, 6 in my middle name, and 6 in my last name.
Is that scary or what?
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Please Pray for My Prodigal
I have a 16 yr old daughter, Lindsey, who lives with me and hubby in Georgia and a 14 yr old daughter, Sarah, who lives in Arkansas with their dad. (Someday, I will share the story behind this.)
Sarah's dad took her cell phone away for several weeks because she had gone over her limit in minutes and text messages. This was my only way to contact her, other than snail mail, which I've used but she hasn't. During the time she was without a phone, I was able to talk with her a few times when Lindsey would call their dad and ask to speak to Sarah. He finally gave her phone back last weekend, but he has restricted her use of it. She can only use it before 9 pm. This makes no sense to me whatsoever, because after 9, the minutes are free! I asked her why, and she has no idea either.
I'm a rational woman, for the most part, and I always try to see both sides before jumping to conclusions. I have tried see the logic here, but it's beyond me. I thought, ok, maybe he's trying to get her to be more responsible with her phone, maybe being aware that any time spent on the phone eats into her available minutes will cause her to use it less. That does make sense, doesn't it? But what happens if she still exceeds her minutes? She's a teenager, and it's bound to happen. I mean, the problem wasn't the after 9 usage when the minutes are unlimited, the problem was the before 9 usage. I certainly am not insisting that she should be allowed to talk on the phone whenever she wants, and I agree wholeheartedly that there should be limits. So why am I upset over this?
This morning on my way to work, I called and left her a message. As soon as I disconnected, a sudden realization hit me. Aversion therapy! In order to check her messages, she'll have to use her minutes. Every time I call her, it uses her minutes. Every time she calls me (which is already rare enough) will use her minutes. She will be even more reluctant to call me now, since she doesn't want to lose her phone again. I hope I'm wrong, and I know there's nothing I can do about it either way, but my gut tells me I'm right.
I'm praying that his plan will backfire, and that limited access to her mother will fuel in her a desire for more. Please pray for my prodigal and her parents.
Sarah's dad took her cell phone away for several weeks because she had gone over her limit in minutes and text messages. This was my only way to contact her, other than snail mail, which I've used but she hasn't. During the time she was without a phone, I was able to talk with her a few times when Lindsey would call their dad and ask to speak to Sarah. He finally gave her phone back last weekend, but he has restricted her use of it. She can only use it before 9 pm. This makes no sense to me whatsoever, because after 9, the minutes are free! I asked her why, and she has no idea either.
I'm a rational woman, for the most part, and I always try to see both sides before jumping to conclusions. I have tried see the logic here, but it's beyond me. I thought, ok, maybe he's trying to get her to be more responsible with her phone, maybe being aware that any time spent on the phone eats into her available minutes will cause her to use it less. That does make sense, doesn't it? But what happens if she still exceeds her minutes? She's a teenager, and it's bound to happen. I mean, the problem wasn't the after 9 usage when the minutes are unlimited, the problem was the before 9 usage. I certainly am not insisting that she should be allowed to talk on the phone whenever she wants, and I agree wholeheartedly that there should be limits. So why am I upset over this?
This morning on my way to work, I called and left her a message. As soon as I disconnected, a sudden realization hit me. Aversion therapy! In order to check her messages, she'll have to use her minutes. Every time I call her, it uses her minutes. Every time she calls me (which is already rare enough) will use her minutes. She will be even more reluctant to call me now, since she doesn't want to lose her phone again. I hope I'm wrong, and I know there's nothing I can do about it either way, but my gut tells me I'm right.
I'm praying that his plan will backfire, and that limited access to her mother will fuel in her a desire for more. Please pray for my prodigal and her parents.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I Am (Meme)
What's a meme, you ask? I like the blog definition better: Me! Me!
Anyway, I've been tagged by BooMama for this one, so here goes:
I am - deeply in love with my husband.
I want - my children to understand the importance of obedience to God.
I wish - we could have more kids.
I hate - abuse of children and abuse of power.
I miss - my kids' toddler years.
I hear - life begins at 40.
I wonder - how anyone could not believe in God.
I regret - my first marriage.
I am not - a typical woman.
I dance - like a spaz.
I sing - most of the time.
I cry - at church, at weddings, at funerals, at movies, and at random acts of kindness.
I am not always - serious.
I make - quilts from worn-out jeans.
I write - the way I speak.
I confuse - my husband, who still hasn't got me figured out.
I need - to read my Bible more, exercise, get more sleep
I should - call my mom more often.
I start - too many projects at once.
I finish - very few projects I start.
Consider yourself tagged!
Anyway, I've been tagged by BooMama for this one, so here goes:
I am - deeply in love with my husband.
I want - my children to understand the importance of obedience to God.
I wish - we could have more kids.
I hate - abuse of children and abuse of power.
I miss - my kids' toddler years.
I hear - life begins at 40.
I wonder - how anyone could not believe in God.
I regret - my first marriage.
I am not - a typical woman.
I dance - like a spaz.
I sing - most of the time.
I cry - at church, at weddings, at funerals, at movies, and at random acts of kindness.
I am not always - serious.
I make - quilts from worn-out jeans.
I write - the way I speak.
I confuse - my husband, who still hasn't got me figured out.
I need - to read my Bible more, exercise, get more sleep
I should - call my mom more often.
I start - too many projects at once.
I finish - very few projects I start.
Consider yourself tagged!
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