Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Tale of Two Sisters

At 22 months apart, they are as different as night and day, save their mutual dislike of one another. I find it interesting that the resentment seems more pronounced when they are separated than when they are together (unless they're with their dad). Sadly, I understand the frustration that Lindsey must feel when she is constantly being compared to Sarah and found lacking. My heart aches for her, though I can only imagine the pain of being rejected by one's own father. I'm not making excuses for her behavior, mind you, but I believe she's due some compassion. Her dad and her sisters seem to disagree. I'm too lenient with her, in their opinion, which is likely the source of Sarah's resentment.

The child who can do no wrong in her dad's eyes doesn't understand why I don't show her the same favoritism. My insistence that they both need guidance, direction, and discipline seems unfair to her (and her dad) because she's not as "bad" as Lindsey. By worldly standards, perhaps. However, I choose to live and to parent by higher standards. I will be held accountable for what I teach them, and for what I fail to teach them. I answer to the Highest Authority, and it is HIS approval I seek.

They are more alike than they realize, these 2 sisters, more than either of them or their dad would care to admit. They are so very like their parents and their parents' parents and every other human individual who has walked the face of the earth since the beginning of time. They, like us, are sinners by nature. There is no good in any of us apart from God's grace.

The world would have us believe otherwise. I cannot tell you how often I've found myself thinking that I am somehow more (or less) deserving of God's favor because of anything I have or have not done, and I know better. It shouldn't surprise me that my child would fall into the same trap, especially since the lie is being reinforced by people she trusts.

My prayer is that my daughters, my sisters in Christ, will soon realize their desperate need for the Savior whose name they claim and that their indifference will turn to indescribable joy.


Barb said...

This just makes me so sad, Brenda. My girls are 22 months apart, too. So I relate, at least on that level. I have two daughters who couldn't possibly be more different.

I'm talking completely different personalities. Black and white. Super hyper and laid back. But they adore each other.

I know in my heart you're standing firm. This is so hard for you, the not being able to understand why everyone doesn't just "get" it. But they will.

You're so strong and so firm in your beliefs and your faith, sooner or later, and unfortunately maybe later, they will get it.

You may not be able to feel it right now, but sooner or later your influence will produce a result.

I pray for you because I know your heart is hurting. I so want them to just grow up and realize that they need to be with you and more than anything, sisters need to love, appreciate and respect each other.

I have a very special sister, and I'm blessed. I so hope someday your girls will realize how blessed they are to have a sister. And a mother like you.

Meantime, I pray for you my friend. I can barely stand the thought of how much this is hurting you.


Kelli said...

Hey Lady,

First off, I'm sorry we missed talking on the phone a couple weeks back. We need to schedule another date :)

I know you're heart is in pieces at times, over all this, but you are definitely in the right mindset. And God will prevail. I truly believe that.

Love you. Bunches.

Grafted Branch said...


This division between sisters sounds familiar; when my parents spent my junior year separated, I lived with Dad, Sis lived with Mom. It took Mom decades to get over the hurt of my choosing him over her. Actually, she may never have gotten over it.

But to forgive is divine. And you, Brenda, are a divine child of the King. Your daughters will be blessed by your forgiveness someday.

Saying a prayer tonight...

Dawn said...

Kristen's kids are 22 months apart as well and right now, at 5 and 3, love each other madly. I hope that lasts! My sis and I are only 11.5 months apart, and were best friends. So I can only imagine how sad this is for you. But I do understand, when you explained these things.

My son and daughter disliked each other throughout life because of the he/she, him/her, unfairness of "good girl/bad boy" stuff. But they are now friends and I am so thankful.

My heart also hurts for you this morning, and I will be praying for you and for them.

Diane Viere said...

Brenda.....if you read this comment today...did you notice the Bible verse on your side bar....

“I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” (Psalm 16:8)

This is your testimony.....this is your love for your daughters...that you have set the Lord always...before you...and before them. When we do this for our children, we may become stunned...we may experience shock...but we are "not shaken!" What a great verse to go along with your heart felt post today.

I continue to pray for you and your family. While your words are simply beautiful, I can only imagine the moments of ugliness that you have endured. I understand a mother's aching heart...and am so grateful for the opportunity to stand in the gap for your miracle.....with you.



PEZmama said...

Thank you for sharing your struggles with me. Reading your experiences teaches me very much.

Bless you, Brenda.

Dawn said...

Wondering today how things are going!